No kidding

You really really really have to be a GIANT FUCKING MORON if you think that a snowstorm means global warming isn't real. No kidding.

Palinology!

What kind of fucking idiot do you have to be to think the idea of a "rogue" president makes sense?

You MIGHT Be a Complete Fucking Idiot If:

• You find yourself watching Fox News and thinking, "yeah, that sounds true."
• You're out shoveling snow off your walk and you really think that means there's no global warming.
• You own a small business and believe that a national health care solution is a bad idea.
• You work for a living and think that a national health care solution is a bad idea.
• You are anybody except a health insurance executive or stock holder and think that a national health care solution is a bad idea.
• You believe that the UK, Canada, Germany, France, and pretty much all of the rest of the free world have worse health care than you do.
• You think that Beck and Limbaugh have ever spoken a single word of truth, or have any relationship at all with a reality not of their own making.
• You think President Obama is somehow responsible for winning the Nobel.
• You are white, and at any point in your life you have said, "I'm not a racist, I just don't like [blank] people."
• You hated the Bush administration for completely fucking up the entire world, and now you hate the Obama administration for trying to fix it.
  

Faith

Dear Invisible Fairy in the Sky Who Sometimes Grants Wishes and Sometimes Doesn't and Never Gives a Clue as to Which or Why:

Please: 

• Keep me and everybody around me from ever suffering or dying or anything.
• Bless this Mikki D cheeseburger so that it will magically transform into something my body can actually digest into some sort of nutrition.
• Make me rich, pretty, and smart.
• Make this traffic light turn green before I get there.
• Help my favorite sports teams win their games (and Fuck the Other guys!)
• Let me lose 20 pounds so my ass looks good in these jeans.
• Keep my dumbass relatives from harming themselves any more with drugs, booze, sex, tobacco, porn, gambling or anything else we've been taught is "bad." Oh, and please make sure that none of that stuff hurts me any, cause I'm planning to do them all this weekend.
• Find me a better job, cause my boss here thinks he knows you pretty well and keeps bringing you up in random conversations. And while you're at it, please make sure you ignore all his wishes. Cause he sucks and I hate him.
• And while you're at that, you might as well ignore the wishes of everybody else I hate, too.
• Please condemn everybody in the world who ever denied your existence to an eternity of suffering torments and tortures inexpressible. Cause that will prove you are the Invisible Fairy in the Sky of Love.
• And one last thing. Please don't forget that I have a test tomorrow and I didn't study very hard. You can do something about that, right?

Amen.

Holy fuck

O my dear sweet Cthulhu, demon king of all that is evil. I cannot believe that the Holy Trinity of the GOP—Newt Gingrich, Ann Coulter and Rush Limbaugh—have taken to calling the Supreme Court justice nominee Sonia Sotomayor a 'racist.' This beggars the imagination so thoroughly that I've been waiting for the revelation that this is really a story sourced by "The Onion."

But, no. This is what the sons of bitches have come to. Dick "Sucker" Cheney popping up to scare us with tales of doom if we so much as ponder closing the torture chambers at Guantanamo. Rush "Pill-popping Fat Ass" Limbaugh spewing racial venom so foul that he ought to locked up as a walking hate-crime. Anne "About as Pretty as a Naked Mole Rat's Ass" Coulter parading her nasty ignorance across the Fox-spectrum of the media like Paris Hilton on a trapeze. Newt "Anyone Who Disagrees with Me Must Be Socialist" Gingrich with his blatantly manipulative and disingenuous strategy for giving the White House back to the evil mutherfuckers who almost managed to destroy the entire goddamned world with the last eight years of their reign.

IT HAS GOT TO STOP! If we continue to let these bastards get away with this bullshit, we'll all be living in cold dark caves. The survivors, anyway.

Worse Thieves

Of all the goddamned asshole lame bullshit things I have ever heard, this one just about takes the cake. The evil bastards that run the world have gotten just plain eviller!

AIG Parties While the Economy Burns

Holy shit! Who could even begin to justify this kind of "fuck you" behaviour? They ought all be stripped, and clipped, and sent to Guantanamo for a little "spa" treatment, courtesy of the American taxpayer.

And now this!!!!!!

AIG Parties on.... on YOUR DIME